The Perfect Guitarist - Gorillaz Fan Fic

My name is Stuart. Stuart Pot. My mates, Murdoc and Russel, call me 2D. I’ll save that story for another time. Anyways, I’m a singer in the band called the Gorillaz. I sing and play keyboard. My mate Murdoc, his full name Murdoc Niccals, he plays bass guitar. And then there’s Russel. Full name: Russel Hobbs. He plays drums.

We then noticed we were missing something. A guitarist. That’s when we started searching.

Beforehand, Murdoc had found me first. Well, we kind of crashed together. Not explaining that now. He and I then moved to Kong Studios, in Essex, Britain. Muds (yes, I gave him that nickname) used his laptop and searched for a drummer. He found this American, Hip-Hop star, Russel and we got him next.

The three of us now live in Kong together. And we desperately need a guitarist.

“Maybe we should go into town, face-ache,” Murdoc suggests. “Me and you could go find someone.”

He calls me face-ache often. It’s his way of showing how much “better” he is than me. He once in a while is nice, but not often. The old geezer – I’d wish he’d just sod off.

“Well, you’re drivin’ then,” I mumble.

“Of course, of course.”

He jingles the keys in front of my face and closes his fingers quickly around them, making me jump back a bit.

Murdoc is scary too. I forgot to mention that. His slightest moves frighten me. Even though he is mean and scary, I have always looked up to him. Don’t know why – it’s just how I feel about him.

“Dent-head! You still here with me?” Murdoc asks gruffly.

He calls me dent-head too.

I shake my head. “Sorry, I was just thinkin’.”

“Alright, so we’re goin’ then?” he questions.

I nod, then noticing that we were in front of the car. He disappears into the vehicle and I open my door, joining him on the inside. He turns on the engine and the car roars to life. Murdoc quickly pulls out of Kong Studios, leaving Russel and the old building behind us.

XXX

So, you know who I am but, I did notice I forgot to mention what I look like. I’m really tall and thin. I’m 6’2. I have blue, spiky hair. No lie. I’m not kidding you. It used to be black. I never dyed it though, which is the cool thing. Blue is my natural hair colour now. Not explaining that now either. I’m missing several teeth, my most noticeable ones being my two front ones. Murdoc helped me lose those, by throwing his fist into my face. The most interesting thing about me though, is my eyes. They are completely black, because I required the “8-Ball Fracture” in both eyes. Basically, my eyes were pushed back into my head. I can still see; I’m not blind. Murdoc helped me get the fracture too.

Now, me, my dumb self and I, is lost in Essex, Britain. This was my first time ever in town; we had always stayed at Kong beforehand. Oh, I wasn’t just calling myself dumb just because I am lost. It’s true. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

People give me sharp glares and weird looks. Compared to these people, I am a freak and I know it too.

“Why did Murdoc leave me?” I think sickly.

The bassist left on his own in search of a guitarist as well.

I suddenly get bumped into and I hear a woman squeak, as she hits the ground. I feel my heart jolt. I just pushed someone over!

“Oh God... I’m sorry!” I cry, reaching down to her with one hand. “I didn’t mean it!” I pulled her up quickly and she stands shakily, trying to regain herself. “I didn’t see you there! I’m really sor –” I cut myself off, noticing of pretty she is.

She was almost as tall as me; her bright brown eyes almost meeting mine dead on. She has dark black hair that fell in random chunks to her shoulders. She wore bright red lipstick that made her lips look really full.

“Uh – are you lost or something?” she asks me unsurely.

I shake my head, trying hard to concentrate. “Er... no. Well, actually... yeah.” I keep thinking back to her beauty. “Yeah, I am.”

“Need directions?” she asks.

“Not exactly... I’m not lookin’ for any place in particular...”

“Oh, well you’re in town why then?”

“Well, I’m searchin’ for someone.”

“Who?” She cocks an eyebrow, seeming a bit interested.

“A guitarist.”

“Let’s find a cafe, yeah?”

XXX

This is when I found out more about this lovely girl. Her name is Paula Cracker and she plays guitar. I find myself getting excited. She was pretty and played guitar! What a lucky find!

I tell her, that we have a band and we are searching for someone that plays guitar. She doesn’t seem too excited. She acts like she’s been in this situation before. Paula still gives in and she tells me she’ll come by to check out Kong. Murdoc and Russel are sure to like her!

XXX

This was my first mistake. “Oh boy!” I think to myself when I ask Paula out. I am expecting a slap or her to scream “no”, but all she does is tilt her head.

I gnaw anxiously at my bottom lip. My palms are covered in sweat, as I have them clamped together. I shake slightly.

She opens her mouth. “Sure.”

I smile slightly and sigh through my nose. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve liked you for a while now, Stu.” She smiles while she says that.

I find myself beaming widely and I pull her into my arms. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” she whispers, “You are a bit thick, but still cute, yeah?”

She called me cute! Compared to her, I look like something from the inside of a toilet bowl! I feel my body screaming with joy.

XXX

The two of us got real close after that. Oh and did I mention, she stayed living in Kong Studios with us too? I find myself enjoying Kong more, with her here. Funny thing is, I don’t even know how she stands us three guys. Paula doesn’t mind the fact that we’re dirty slobs, which makes me love her all the more.

After having here a while longer, I notice something is up. She doesn’t talk to me as much, nor do I even see her. When I do see her, I always ask her what’s up. She always changed the subject or shrugs it off.

My migraines get worse because she never gets off of my mind. (Yes, I forgot to mention I have a chronic migraine problem, but onward!)

Me and Russ sit down for a late supper, in the first floor kitchen.

“I told that dang Satanist (he means Murdoc) to be here for dinner tonight!” Russel exclaims, grinding his teeth together.

I slam my face onto the wooden table and moan softly.

“What’s up with you, ‘D?” Russel asks curiously.

“Paula... is up...” I mumbled, into the smooth surface.

“She’s not givin’ you any kissed lately?” he jokes.

I pulled my face up from the table and support my head with my hand. I give him a dead serious glare.

“Oh. Well then... er –” He cuts himself off, and looks up at the ceiling with his milky white eyes.

“Do you have any idea on what I’m doin’ wrong?” I ask, my voice cracking.

“Maybe there’s someone else?” he suggests.

“Oh... maybe,” I say sadly.

“Let’s go find the two of them, alright?” Russel mumbles, “We’ll search the main floor first.”

I follow the large drummer slowly as we make out way to the elevator. It takes us down to the ground floor and Russel and I start searching. We make our way through Kong slowly, thoroughly checking through the different rooms.

We pass the toilets and I hear noises. I hope it’s not what I think it is. Russel stops walking and looks back at me. He cocks an eyebrow.

“Yeah?” he calls.

I feel myself getting sick. I close my eyes and point, with one finger, at the toilets’ door.

“In there?” He walks over to me.

I nod slowly and open my eyes. I watch Russel reach for the door knob. I feel myself panicking. He walks in the room and signals for me to come in as well. I nod, following him in.

My heart’s racing. Russel and I walk past the few sinks that are in the washroom. The noises are coming from the toilet stalls. One in particular. Cubical number 3.

The drummer makes his way over to the stall and rests his hand on the door. I want to scream “No! Don’t!”, but I can’t speak. My voice is gone. My mouth is open and nothing comes out. My voice is gone.

Russel pushes on the door and it swings open quickly. I want to scream, but I’m still quiet. I’m too shocked for words.

Paula – my Paula is in there with my best friend, Murdoc. Their lips are locked. Murdoc pulls away from her, as soon as he notices us. His eyes widen and she looks over at us too, wearing Murdoc’s same expression.

“Oh my God...” Murdoc murmurs, looking between me and Russel quickly. “This ain’t good...”

“No, it ain’t,” Russel growls.

He then grabs Murdoc by his shirt and pulls him out of the cubical roughly. Paula’s still standing there, in the corner of the stall, giving me a shocked expression. I look away from her, now staring at Russel and Murdoc. I watch the drummer throw a heavy punch at Murdoc’s face and his fist hit Murdoc straight on the nose, breaking it for a further five times. Russel then drops the Satanist on the ground and Murdoc yowls loudly.

“OW! JESUS!” he hollers, holding his bloody nose. “Didja have to break it?”

“Yeah, I did!” Russel yells back down at him.

The both of them look very angry and they look like they are going to get into a huge argument. I sigh softly, and Russel and Murdoc look at me at the same time.

“You know...” Tears are making my vision blurry. I don’t want to let them out, but I know they are going to fall soon. “... I expected this from you, Muds.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” he exclaims defensively.

“It means exactly what I said,” I whisper back.

He opens his mouth, the closes it. He looks sorry for me, which is rare. Blood drains down from his nose over the bottom half of his face. He frowns.

My eyes trail away from my blood-covered friend, to my girlfriend in the stall. She’s still standing there, frozen in a shocked state.

My heart hurts. It hurts looking at her now. I don’t want to look anymore, but I know I need to. I clutch my chest and tears fall from my dark eyes.

“Paula, I –” My voice shakes wildly, while I’m talking to her. I shake my head, and look at the floor.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“I don’t really care,” I reply sharply, tears still falling. I look up at her with tense eyes.

Her brown eyes look hurt, but I don’t seem to care. “I’m so sorry.”

“Leave,” I grumble angrily. “Just get out of here. I never want to see you here, ever again.”

She looks over at Murdoc for help. He shrugs. She narrows her eyes at him and she makes her way out of the stall. I watch her walk out of the bathroom and I sigh through my nose.

Murdoc stands up and walks over beside me. I catch a glimpse of him and he’s looking at the closed door. I look back at the door, like he is.

“Gonna drive me to the hospital?” he asks me softly. We’re still both looking at the door.

“Drive yourself.”

XXX

That was the last time I saw Paula Cracker. I feel happier that she is gone, but every time I think back to her, I get a twang of pain in my heart. She was my first real girlfriend, so how could I forget about her? Anyway, I was happier that she was gone, but now Gorillaz was out of a guitarist. We would find one soon; Murdoc kept reassuring us.

I forgave him too, by the way. Me and Murdoc are too close to hate each other. And there is something about him, that can’t make me hate him. Like – I lost my teeth, eyes, and girlfriend to this guy, and I’m still his friend. It’s weird how things work.

All of us are happier now. Murdoc pays more attention to us now. Funny thing is, I didn’t even seem to notice that he wasn’t before. The three of us, are still in search of the perfect guitarist. Paula wasn’t that great anyway. The three of us would know when we had found the perfect guitarist. And Gorillaz would finally work out – without any confusion. It would – it will be perfect.